I realize that my previous post may have ruffled some feathers when I named 3 things not to say to an Autism Mom. My experiences are my truth but I do recognize that a post offering ideas on just what to say to an Autism Mom would be beneficial.
I think most mom’s would agree with me on my number 1 pick:
Man, oh man, I can’t express how these words make me feel. Yes, Autism Mom’s may look like we got it all together , but that’s really a perk of the territory. Having a schedule and sticking to a schedule may make us appear to be heroic, but our schedules really are for our children’s feelings of thriving off a routine and needing dependability. You can offer practical solutions to help a parent handle the diagnosis or the ongoing tasks, like help with grocery shopping, babysitting or other daily responsibilities.
This is golden. Number 1, you said “milestones” so you are speaking our language and Number 2, this would make most mom’s feel like you are genuinely interested in comparing goals from a previous IEP till now, or sharing some obstacles that we may be particularly proud of overcoming.
Dealing with school administration to therapists, tailored meals, and sensory sensitivity can be hard on our shoulders from time to time. And sometimes, parents just need to vent and it’s helpful to have a friend with whom to share their feelings. I find this will help guide the conversation into a healthy dialogue where a mama bear can talk about
A child’s diagnosis of ASD is a deeply personal issue. It’s still unclear if Autism came from genes, environment, or both. My advice would be to listen with your heart. And I want to thank you, in advance, for your acceptance and advocacy.